What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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