News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
