thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
