I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
