i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
