i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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