the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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