I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
