In the future we'll all be gay
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
