...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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