we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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