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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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