yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
