I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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