come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
