Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
