Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
