Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize