You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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