Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
