Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
