I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
