3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
