I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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