I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
