when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
