Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
