Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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