Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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