you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
