First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
