I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
