So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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