weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's just like the Real World with babies
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
