he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
