this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
