in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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