Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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