my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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