Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
