hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
