I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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