when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want nice things and good sex
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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