Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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