How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
