does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
