My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
