and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
