I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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