if you like me you must not know who I am
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
