Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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